college...

It seems like all anyone talks about. College. Where are you thinking of going? What are you going to major in? Have you written your college essays yet? Have you visited anywhere yet? Well, Gardner-Webb, Lenoir-Rhyne or UNC; prob Nursing; Sorta, i've written one out of two but it's not officially finished yet; yeah, I visited State last year, but i've decided I dont want to go there, and i have visits scheduled for the colleges i'm interested in (see answer above).
It seems like everything is a test, and different people are wanting different answers out of you. College essays- they always sound so daunting, so I feel like I'm not doing it right, is there a right way? There's so much stress and stuff and it all feels so final, like you pick your life's career right now and you can't change it. I know you can, but it doesn't feel that way. Right now I'm sortof just fed up with college thoughts. I want to get on with my life, but I cant. I have to finish my essays and visit and apply then stress for a few months to get a reply, and THEN I can chill, but then I'll be thinking about what i'll need and all the specifics and stuff. urg. I want it all to disappear for a bit.
And it seems like everyone you talk to asks about it, and then they almost always give you their opinion, which for me seems ok most of the time, but others its just like- i don't care what you think! I don't want to go across the country! I'm just trying to do what I think is right for me, not what you think is right. I wish I could go back to being little, it seemed so much funner. Yeah. There's my rant about college stress and crap.

In other news, it's labor day weekend and i'm excited to have another day off school :) And the only homework I have is to work on my art project and to finish one of my college essays ( :p ). :) so, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go do nothing :)

my last first day of school

not awful. the whole student ambassadors thing was OK. my partner sort of let the class/group run wild, he was trying to be the fun cool guy, so i got stuck feeling like the boring mom of the group. he would mess something up and then i would have to fix it. all in all, it wasn't awful. im glad i dont have to do it again though. in total, we only misplaced 7 out of 20 kids and a tshirt. not bad right? :) anyway, so with the freshman orientation, i only had to go to 5th and 6th period, art :) it made my day end well. and i've found out that i have late lunch, so everyday ill have my first four classes, lunch, then art and then get to go home. and like everyother friday in art we are going on field trips to galleries so i dont have to do it on my own time. i can already feel the wonderousness of this year. there's still gonna be alot of things going on with college visits, and all that college stuff. im excited to go to the first four of my classes tomorrow. so far, elena doesnt have my lunch, but its supposed to get switched, and i think caroline has my lunch. :) yay. the thing im really going to have to get back into the groove of doing is homework. im used to just chillin at home, not having to do work. hopefully, ill only have nightly homework in math and sorta art. marine and english and french should not be too bad. :) and i get to go off campus for lunch if i want. sweet freedom. im not gonna do it alot because i dont want to eat out that much and i really dont want to waste all my gas. but it will def be a once in a while treat :) so yeah, the first day of school was fine, but holds tons of possibilities.

back where i belong

So I feel like I'm officially back into my groove, my element, my life, my home. This was really helped by having a wonderful friend, Elena, sleep over and we got to talk and stuff about everything that had happened while we were apart. We hadn't really seen each other for like 8 weeks. I could really talk to her about all the emotional and spiritual stuff that happened, as well as the physical. I love her. Who couldn't? :) So that helped me feel more at home, being able to just talk with my best bud. Then going to church today really sealed the deal. I feel so at home when I'm at church. The nursery, and esp in youth group. It's such a different feeling from what I originally had toward church, and I never imagined that a church could feel like home to me. But it does. I know lots of people, they know me, and unlike school, it feel so safe. I know people aren't going to blatently (dont know if thats the right word...) be mean or whatever to me. Everyone's so accepting and just smiles and stuff. It's so nice. Youth group feels the bestest. I get to see all my best buds and talk, as well as worship and learn about God. It's the perfect combo. I know at least of almost everyone (except all the new freshman) and the adults esp just talk to you and are so nice. It's home and it just makes my day. And I'm going to be joining the Core team and working on Fall Retreat so it feels like I really matter and have a say in things. I feel accepted and understood and utilized. After being home a week, White Bear smells right again, and I'm getting back into my normal routine, without someone else here. I love it. School starting soon also helps make things feel normal again. It's still sorta of weird, scary, yet also exilerating that I'm a senior and thinking about college and all that, but it's good. No, it's great. My social life is back in place, and I feel wonderful in God. I just hope school goes great too. I love my life. Especially now that I'm back where I belong :)

school :(

Why does it always come so soon? I was really enjoying summer and not having much of any work to do, except for what I wanted to do. humf. There's the double whammy too, because this is my last year like ever in normal school. So in addition to the annoyingness of getting up early and working more, I've got emotions wrapped up in it. I don't really want to leave my family. I did for three weeks this summer, and that was plenty for me. Granted, it was in a different country with a different language and stuff, but still. I'm what, in my family, we call the velcro girl. I'm always stuck to my family and don't want to leave them/or them leave me. I've always been like that. College is really exciting though too. It's like starting over almost. Though, the first year of college might not be too hot physically, because that's when I'm going to try and get off my seizure meds. We'll just have to see how that all works out. At this point though, I think I've pretty much decided (for the time being) what I want to major in and stuff. I'm thinking I'll major in nurseness. :) Even if I end up not wanting to be an actual nurse, I can get lots of other medically jobs with a nursing degree or whatever they call it. I'm down to 2 colleges too, UNC and Gardner-Webb. Both have nursing. I'm just not sure which I really want yet, so I'm visiting them both in Sept. UNC is bigger and has a bit more options. Gardner-Webb is smaller and christian. I'll just have to see. As for senior year, my schedule is awesome, exactly what I wanted. No zero period. :) I've got H. French 4, AP Eng 12 (though with the deemed 'evil' teacher), H Marine Science, IB Math HL, and IB Art. The only complaint I've got is that evil teacher, but who knows, I might actually like her... :) Unfortunately, the summer though is pretty much gone. It's down to the point where I've already mentally planned what I'm going to do for the next few days, and in those few days, school is included. :( I haven't even finished all my summer work yet. Who has? :) I've still got to annotate the second half of a book for engish (i've already read it, so im just reading it again and annotating, not TOO awful) and watch a movie and take notes on it for engish, but I'm doing that sat with Elena. Then I've just got a couple more pages for art, but I can whip those out in a day. So there it is, my summer's pretty much gone, and what I have left of it is mostly going toward school work. :( but I'm a senior now!!! :D

bringing it all together

So on the 17th, I got to come home :) We woke up at 8am to have her brother pick us up at 9am to drive to Bordeaux, for a 1pm flight. I thought it was too early, they did not. We got to the airport and checked my bag, and had 3 hours to wait. So we just chilled, and went to a cafe and stuff. The flights were fine. I went from Bordeaux to Paris to Atlanta to Greensboro. They were fine, the middle one was long and minorly boring, but they're is no other way to get home... :) In Paris I got freaked out because I saw on a sign that my flight to Atlanta was 'Embarquement', which at first glance, I thought meant leaving. So I freaked out because I still had to get to the gate. Once I got to the gate, I realized that it meant boarding. :) My stress was not helped by being pulled over for a random security check thing, all the time just wanting to get on the plane so it wouldnt leave without me. Atlanta was a bit stressful too. I ended up having an hour to get from gate to gate, but I had to go through the passport people, get my bag, go through customs, give back my bag, then go through security. I'm not sure why they make you get your bag... it seems like an extra hassle for everyone. Anyway, on the plane you have to fill out a little customs card, saying whether you're bring food or not and stuff. I had some candy and wine. They asked what food I had. I told them I had wine. This is how it when down:
Them: How old are you?
Me: 17
Them: What's the legal drinking age in America?
Me: 21
Them: What makes you think you can bring alcohol when you're underage?
Me: It's not for me, it's a gift for my parents
Them: If we called your parents, would they say that?
Me: Yes
I got to go through this with like 3 people. I felt like such a bad girl. :) So anyway, I had to make a detour in Agriculture. I was stressed because it was like 9:05 and my plane left for greensboro at 9:20. I called my mom and told her what was happening and she told me that my plane was delayed, so i shouldnt worry and if they wont let me have the wine, its fine if they just throw it away. Anyway, they ended up calling my parents and I got to keep it. I got to the gate and I didnt miss my flight :)

It's so great to be home. I loved france, but this is where I belong :) With my friends and family and home and everything. Here are some things I learned/noticed on the trip (some of which I already knew):
I'm shy.
I can be rather negative and unconfident, esp when out of my element.
I'm really good at crying.
I'm indecisive.
I can be really judging, selfish and unwilling to change my ways.
When I want, I can really just be grateful for the moment and find beauty in everything.
Alot of the time when something is coming up (such as school), you can be annoyed or excited, but its alot funner to be excited.
Sometimes you need to think, but not think. Think enough to comprehend whats happening and function and stuff, but don't think so much that you overanalyze everything and turn it bad and stuff.
When I'm stressed/overwhelmed, I become extra introverted and cry, or sometimes eat alot or not eat much. And when I am like that, I need something to do to destract myself and keep my mind off of whatever.
This trip was not at all how I expected it, but I'm not going to regret anything and keep in mind that God made it the way it was for a reason.
I'm the kind of person that, most of the time, when having a good time/fun (esp w/ people I dont really know that well) I smile inside and think about it inside, rather than smiling and talking and laughing alot.
I feel awkward alot, like in social situations.
There are lots of traffic circles in France.
They have funny window blinds.
There is a light switch to each outlet, sometimes multiple switches, like near the bed.
There are small, cute cars and smaller cabs in the semi trucks and they're all stick shift.
Television shows start at weird times like 12:40 or 5:25.
Not many commercials during a TV show, just at the halfway point - it has its pros and cons...
Toilet has barely any water in it and is higher and has a different flusher thing.
Lots of military time.
On the bed there's square pillows, then one big long one.
They're alot freer and more trusting of others.
Showers are usually a tub or small shower thing with a hand shower - very annoying to me
Lots of doves.
LOTS of bread.
They eat alot.
Lots of shutters.
They ask you 'ca va?' alot (how are you equivalent)
Of the American songs they choose to listen to, they choose a few actual good, popular ones, then the rest are old or weird that no American actually knows or likes.
Pink toilet paper.

So yeah. I learned alot and had alot of fun. I love France, esp the vineyards region. I really hope I can go back someday, maybe with some family or friends :) So yeah, if you want to hear more or something, just ask, and you probably wont be able to shut me up :)

recap 4

Traffic circle! They're EVERYWHERE!

The citadelle in Blaye


The river


There are beautiful sunsets everynight.


Her house



All the houses have terra cotta shingles.

I love the shutters

Us at the restaurant for dessert

Bourg



A laundromat of sorts, a place to wash clothes, which they still use. There was also a fountain thing nearby to wash your hair, which people also still use.

View of Plassac

Mailys and her scooter

Me looking hot in a motorcycle helmet :)

Barrels and barrels of wine

The market in downtown Blaye

Mailou's dog Jodi

My beautiful, neatly packed bag.


All their stop signs say 'stop', not 'arret', stop in french. No one could tell me why. :/

The cool square spiral stairs in her house

Us at the wedding reception

Mailys and her cousin Laurane

Mailys and her dad and stepmom

Her backyard view

I'm officially in love with Gironde. Its a region of France, in which her dad and stepmom live. At least in the area near her house, near Blaye, everywhere you look there are vineyards and chateaus and stuff. Its so gorgeous. I don't really like wine though... although white grape peach juice is pretty darn good... :)
Ok, so like a year or so ago, Mailys' dad was in some sort of accident, and ended up in a coma for a while. I dont really know the specifics, just that he's not completely right in the head anymore. He's not like crazy or something. He can function normally, he just forgets stuff easily and doesnt really realize some social things and is sleepy more and stuff. He's really cool though. Because of this though, he talks more slurred, which made it harder for me to understand him, but by the end of the trip, I could understand him just fine.
So the first day we were there her dad had to go to work, so Mailou and I walked the hour walk to her brother's and I got to use the internet, because her dad doesnt have internet but her brother does. Then we got her scooter, because he had been keeping it for her, and went to downtown Blaye (which consists of one street) and then to E.Leclerc's (its a big grocery/everything store, sorta like Walmart).
On Friday, we went over to her cousins'/aunt's/uncle's house then went and visited the citadelle with her little cousin Laurane (like 12yrs old).
On Saturday we just hung out at her brother's then went to the Rotary dude's house then her friend Tiphaine (sp?, pronuonced Tiffin) came over and spent the night.
They don't work on Sunday or Monday, not Saturday and Sunday. I don't know why. It's forbidden to work on Sunday, but I guess they just choose Monday over Saturday. So on Sunday we just chilled and her brother's girlfriend Sabrina came over and went swimming with us. It was pretty cold, at least to me. The whole time I was there it never really got hot. They constantly have a breeze since they are so near to the ocean. Most of the time, I actually went around the house in socks and a jacket :) I get cold easily, what can I say? :) After dinner, we went out to a restaurant for dessert, I got a crepe bowl thing with vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce and whipped cream. Yumm. Then we went over to a bar downtown. It was really cool, small town french nightlife. Everywhere, people are saying hello (bonjour!) and asking how each other are (ca va?) and doing the cheek kisses. Everyone knows everyone, and if you know someone you HAVE to say hello. You cant just ignore them or pretend not to see them.
On Monday Mailou and I rode her scooter thing over to an old village called Bourg from like the 17th century. Its really pretty :)
Tuesday, we visited her godmother's chateau and got a little tour and tasted some wine (yuch) and a guy gave me 2 free bottles of expensive wine :) So I didnt have to even buy it for my parents :)
On Wednesday morning we went to the downtown market in Blaye and I got to finish buying gifts for my family and stuff. It was really cool, when we were walking around and stuff, I really felt like I fit in and I was almost like one of them. As long as someone didnt speak really fast thickly accented french to me... :) Her friend (Lulu?) then came over and she went swimming, though I refrained since the water was like 70 degrees and it was windy and not really sunny. Then we made crepes. Yummmmmmm :) I even made one, although it ended up needing to be eaten in a bowl, if you get my drift :)
Thursday we went horsebackriding. I had never done that before. It was really fun, but when it got to going faster, when you have to bend and straighten your knees and stuff, it got sorta scary. I could just imagine myself falling off or something and then not being able to go home or something. I dont know, Im just weird :) Then Mailou had to go help a friend move and I went with her parents to run errands. In the car, her stepmom told me that she knew I must be wise because I dont talk much, but when I did it was important and wise. :) Quite a change from her mom. On the last stop, it started pouring and we had to run all the way across a big parking lot in the pouring rain. I loved it. Oddly, with everything else cool that happened that day, that seemed to be the highlight, running through the rain. Her brother and his girlfriend then came over to eat dinner with us. It was fun, I didnt really follow a lot of the conversation because it was fast, they talked over eachother and it was filled with inside jokes and stuff. It was still fun though. :)
Friday, August 14th, was a national holiday, some Catholic thing about the Virgin Mary. Anyway, no one worked. It was, effectively, my last real day, because Saturday was filled with the wedding and Sunday was flying home. I just finished packing my bags and we cleaned the house because some relatives were going to stay a night or two for the wedding. I discovered that I had like 60 euros left, so Mailou and I went to E.Leclerc's (which was open, though at limited hours) and I spent the rest :) Then we all went to this festival/flea market thing that was happening because of the holiday. It was fun. I got to see all the really weird stuff French people have :) and eat chichis (churros).
The wedding pretty much took up the whole day Saturday. The wedding itself at the church was really boring. I couldnt understand anything, and, much like a school assembly, everyone was whispering and talking. We came home for a bit, then went to the reception/dinner thing. For the first like hour or two everyone just milled around outside talking, with drinks and apertifs. The dinner finally started around 9:30 or 10pm. It was a 8 course meal (if you include the coffee at the end). Here is the menu:
Some weird seafood thing, like a lobster but not; and toast with fois gras
Some weird gland of an animal (I think the pineal gland, part of the brain) - totally weird and nasty texture - upon later investigation I have discovered that it is the thymus gland of veal, also called sweetbreads, they're apparently really expensive and a delicacy or whatever, I don't care, it still felt too weird in my mouth to enjoy the good taste. :)
Sorbet
Beef something or another
Salad
Cheese
Cake
Coffee
After dinner is dancing. I really wanted to finish dinner and maybe dance a bit. But I needed to get up early and have at last some energy to fly around the world the next day. I left at midnight. I only got to eat the first three things, all the weird things :), though the sorbet was good :) Mailys came home at like 4:45am.
At her dad's I ate better, the food was better, I spoke more and related more to the family, it was just better. Maybe the grapes made me happier, I dont know. :) Most of the time, we just hung out, watched TV or whatever. The whole trip I read alot, like a book every 3 or 4 days, when it usually takes me like a week or two or three. I really just soaked in the wonderfulness and was very happy to be there. It was nice :)
Oh, and I'm sorry this post was so long. Its like a week and a half of stuff :)

recap 3

Ok, after the week in Moliets, we were suppost to spend a week at her mom/stepdad's house in Parentis-en-Born. The change in scenery was nice, and her mom lightened up a bit. The original plan was that we were going to spend half a week in Moliets, the rest of the week at her house, the second week at her grandparents and the third week at her dad's. By the end of the trip it turned into a week in Moliets, half a week at her moms, and a week and a half at her dads, with lots of little plan changes in between. So, at her mom's we watched more TV, and although there was internet access finally, it decided that it wasnt going to work for pretty much the whole time I was there. This really wasnt a trip of internet and communication to my family/friends. Oh well. Anyway, on Monday we went to a high ropes course nearby, which was fun. I hadnt ever really done something like that before. :) After the ropes course, we biked to the lake nearby. Unlike the ocean, the lake was warm(er). It was cool feeling, but not freezing. Also the waves were really small, unlike the huge ones at the ocean. And it still had a little beach of sand to relax on :) On Tuesday we went to a water park with her stepdad's daughter, from a previous marriage, who was like 18 I think. It was really fun, though the water was pretty cold (to me anyway). By the end of the day, my abs and back hurt from the ropes course and the water park. On Wednesday we just chilled and went to the beach in Biscarrosse (sp?). On the beach, there's guys that walk around selling food, ice cream and stuff. I bought an apple beignet, it was SO good :) Its pretty much just like a doughnut filled with apple stuff. yummy. It stormed after we got home, lightning, thunder, wind, rain. I really liked it, but her mom was afraid. :) During my time at her mom's I did realize that I was being a bit unflexible and whatever. I found this verse and it helped me:
'In everything we do we try to show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamaties of every kind.' -2 Cor 6:4
It just reminded me that I wasnt there for me, like I'm not in this world for me. I was there for God and that I needed to be patient and endure whatever happened (however bad) and that hopefully I would be able to plant a seed somewhere. Yeah.
Picture time! :)

Her house in Parentis-en-Born


Mailou driving, they dont get a license till they're 18. And all the cars are stick shift

Mailou sporting the stylish jumper thing they make you wear to do the ropes course






The ropes course park thing

The lake


Mailys at the beach

The beach :)

And then we drove to her dad's. Her mom (actually, Mailys drove) drove us half way and we met her dad at a McDonalds, where we had lunch. Then her dad took us the rest of the way to his house.

In Landes, the region where her mom lives, there are pine trees everywhere

This is a road equivalent to like a highway


Lots of signs everywhere

And this is the eqivalent of like a freeway