I'm feeling less weird with my meds tapering. Tomorrow morning I start another step down. I'll be down to 2 pills a day - one in the morning and one in the evening. Its sorta scary, yet liberating. Oddly, I sorta miss swallowing a mouthful of pills two times a day...
At times, I've felt annoyed at the fact that I can't drive... and, being human, I badly want what I've been told I can't have... It's like once you've been told you can't go out to eat, you start craving the food from your favorite restaurant. I'm learning to deal with it, its just still annoying and every once in a while, I REALLY want to drive, alone, with the windows down and great music pumping at like dusk. But, I must wait :( I guess this is all a lesson in patience, as well as humility.
Most of the last year I've felt off. I don't know how to explain it, just not right. But I feel right again :) I find myself happy and smiling for no reason. I love it.
I've had some good chill time with friends lately too. I went to Carowinds with two of my best buds, Caroline and Lauren. Oh, roller coasters are so much fun!
And I've made a really good, unexpected, but really great friend in the last week or two. Unlike most people, I feel like I can talk to him whenever and I dont feel like I'm bothering him or anything. And I feel like I can talk to him about like anything with him and not be weird or awkward. He's really helped me just feel good about myself and be happy. :) He's also helped me work down my required sleep... I feel like I have more energy lately (meds or otherwise)... and a few days this week, I've stayed up til 1 or 2 in the morning facebook chatting with him. Thats definitely a skill I'm gonna need in college... :)
Its sorta weird having no set things to do most days, but at the same time its wonderful. Its just another instance of the condition of life - wanting badly to get to what's ahead, but also badly wanting to cherish the present and make it last. Alas, time rolls on.
Overall, life just feels good. I'm excited to go to college and all, but I'm also really excited about this time of being excited and hanging with friends. My lack of driving hasn't turned out to be as awful as I thought it might be... my friends and parents are really nice about giving rides :) So yea. Life is just awesome :)