Friday, February 5


so. today was super lazy. only had one class and there was nothing to do at work and got to leave early. so alot of my day was spent just chillin in my room. it's so weird how sometimes i love not having anything to do and wasting the day away chillin in my room, and other times i just want to get out of it and do something, anything. anyways. so i went to pilates and had dinner with debord. it was nice as usual. :) it started to sorta sprinkle/mist/sleet/snow... it couldn't make up it's mind. i was folding my laundry and i find out that theres no school tomorrow. canceled because of the threat of freezing rain/ice. it's rather ironic how they didnt cancel when we had to trek through snow and ice to class, but did for the threat of ice. anyways. so then i started to half panic. in hickory anyways, it was supposed to get worse and worse. and i planned to go home and go to winterjam with caroline. so it was leave now or leave tomorrow and risk it being too icy to go. so i went. i got home at like 1130. it's nice to be home, even with all the stress and adrenaline of quickly packing and driving in precipitation that can't make up its mind. being home is weird. it's nice to be home and be back in my place and see my parents and puppy and friends. but part of me is expecting to go upstairs to my room and climb into my loft bed. i guess because im always complaining about people going home all the time, like every weekend, i feel like i'm ditching people and being a hypocrit when i go home not on break. and i feel like i'm missing out on things. i guess i feel like the same exact fun things will happen again, but they won't. even if the same people were at school and we did the same activities, it'd be different. and i'm used to my dorm room and people always being around and having to figure out who i'm going to eat with and when and all that jazz. and also when i'm at school i have my schedule down pat. i do the same thing everynight before bed and go to bed about the same time. i get up and do the same things. but when i'm home, i stay up alot later than i would at school and in general don't have a schedule like at all except whatever social outings i've planned. it's sort of liberating to not be on the routine, but sorta discombobulating. it always feels like when i've just gotten used to being home and being nonroutine, i go back to school and have to get back into the routine. so going home is weird. it's doing that thing here in the boro where there's moisture coming from the clouds, but it can't decide what it wants to do. whether it wants to be snow or ice or sleet or rain or what. winterjam is saturday night so i don't really care what it does as long as i can still go to winterjam with caroline. but if things don't work according to plan, i guess that means that God had something greater and different in store. so yea. i'm praying that it doesnt get too bad to cancel winterjam or make it so i cant get back to school on sunday, but trying to be at peace with whatever happens. well it's late and i'm tired and i've got a full day of being lazy in store for me when i wake up. ;)

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