trying...

being vulnerable can be good. though it might be awkward, its worth it in the end. if you can't be completely vulnerable with someone, how are you going to get any closer? though, in my case, it often seems like i'm being a lot more vulnerable and available than other people are with me... but i'm not them, so i don't know where they are coming from and what constitutes being vulnerable for them. a comment they make, that may not seem like anything to me, may be a huge step of faith for them. and the best things can't be forced. so i'm just gonna keep being myself and trying to be more vulnerable. give of myself and not worry about what i'm getting back. if i get something big back, i'll be surprised. and i'm gonna TRY to stop overanalyzing and reading into everything. it's hard for me, cause that's the way my brain works, but i feel like, especially when it comes to people, it can be a huge fault. i read into things and think that things are worse than they really are or worry about whether people like/accept me. and it's totally human to want to be accepted, but i think i think about it too much and then act off of those superstitions. i feel like i act awkwardly or whatever because i think that people think different things about me, when they really dont. i'm just gonna let things happen and be patient. it's hard for me to do. but i'm def gonna pray about it and give it to God, because i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. :)