Sunday, January 16

healing begins.

this is where the healing begins, oh this is where the healing starts. when you come to where you're broken within. the light meets the dark. the light meets the dark.

that is such a good song. healing begins by tenth avenue north. listen to it (below.)

i feel like this describes my past two days. it's been a weird week. coming back to school and then having snow days and being with people 24/7. then classes finally start. then the weekend and everyone leaves and i'm alone. that plus hormones equals a girl whose emotions are nice a plyable. easy to be really happy and thankful. easy to be really lonely and crappy feeling. being alone makes it lean toward the second. so i wallow in a pit for a bit. (hey that rhymed!) i mentally cut off from everyone, believe the lies and feel nice and content in my muck. and then i realize that it's all lies. stupid devil. i'm obviously not alone because i've had people to hang out with everyday and been at least with people. and i'm never truely ever alone cause i've got God 24 hours, 365 days a year (or 366 if its a leap year.) that i've convinced myself that these lies are truth and wallowed in them. and thats stupid and unnecessary. and things aren't gonna change if i just keep doing what i'm doing. i've got to make the effort to destroy the lies and remember the Truth. the light is meeting the dark, and healing can begin. i know for a fact i'm not the only one who ever feels alone or crappy or discouraged and sometimes would rather just wallow. but that's not what God calls us to do. He doesn't want us to wallow. He wants us to blossom and radiate Him. and that doesn't happen without effort and energy. it'll take work and sometimes it's easier to believe the lies. but i know that i can't stay there for long when deep down, in the depths of my being, i know the Truth. sometimes it just takes longer to surface. but it does, oh it does. there is Love and Hope and Truth out there. we just have to have Faith. one small word holds so much depth. i'm not gonna say i'm never gonna struggle with the lies and crap and the fact that i'm a girl with plenty of feelings and emotions and desires. but it's taking me a shorter time to remember the Truth than it did last year, so i'd say that's something. i'm a work in progress. healing and growth doesn't happen overnight. it can take days, months, years. but it can start NOW. healing begins.

also found this finding the video. SO TRUE.

i watched the other three video journals that mike d made, and dude they are legit. watch them if you can. they're on youtube and their website.

sorry the edges are cut off!

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