Friday, March 18

been doing a lot of thinkin lately. (what's new?)

-re-evaluating some relationships that were built for a purpose but that purpose just isn't being fulfilled. finding the balance between forgiveness and 'we can work this out' & knowing when to just end that because you've been forgiving and denying and trying to move on for a while. it's tough, because it feels like such a life or death thing. we always freak out about the decisions we have to make. i'm learning more and more esp lately, that if God hasn't come down with fire before your eyes to specifically tell you what to do (not that thats not possible at all, it's just not a likely occurence in these new testament days), it's really going to be ok no matter what you choose. as long as you feel it's the right decision, it's not obviously satan work, and you've prayed about it and consulted others and no big red light is flashing, go for it! even if it's not what might be the 'best' for you, God will turn it into good. He does that. even our stupid choices, He twists them around to show His Glory and Love. so really, with Him by your side you're never alone and wandering aimlessly. it's pretty awesome.

-about God's calling and desire for our lives. it's so crazy. He freakin loves us so much and all we do is ignore Him. what would it look like if we actually started consulting what He says before we did things? what if we started really surrendering our hearts to Him, letting Him take us whereever He does, no longer idolizing the things of this world or our plans? what if we lifted the 'veil' of our flesh and allowed Him to really come and be at home in our hearts? how radically different would things be? would people know from first encounter that we really truely are otherworldly and belong to Him, we look so different and just exude His Glory? it's crazy to think about, but it's possible! we all sit around blending in, not wanting to stir stuff up, thinking it's not possible to really get that close to the God who created us. well He's already right here! He's inside of you, closer to your heart than you are. the question is never physical distance. so why can't we take hold of that and live it out? who cares if people think we're weird, i'm already an awkward nerd that doesn't really fit in. who cares if it means hardship or confusion or whatever in this world. this isn't where we're staying, and in heaven everything will be perfect. these light and momentary troubles will be far gone and forgotten when we reach the everlasting joy and glory of heaven. why are we so afraid to DO SOMETHING here? i'm not saying that i'm not afraid either, or that i don't just lie back and assume someone else will take that role or whatever. it's part of the human condition. but it's our responsibility to reach the world so that every tribe, tongue, and nation will know of Him. we have a purpose, to bring Him Glory and share it with everyone we know. so lets start doing that!

-praise. it's an interesting, kind of weird concept when you really think about it. we praise God, but do not actually see Him. maybe we're lunatics. that'd be alright with me, i'd rather be a lunatic and have a purpose for my life than be 'normal' and be lost and confused. with praise, there's this warmth, this passion, this love that just rises up inside. if you've ever listened to Jesus Culture, it's hard not to feel it (when you're paying attention to the music, not when it's just some background to your paper writing). songs that plead the Lover to dance with us to the song of all songs. that yearn for the light of His face to shine on us. that cry that the only word to describe Him is Holy. that we stand on rooftops to proclaim His love and that we are His. it's crazy what words put with a tune and music can do. it's all just different vibrations of the air, but it makes all the difference. there's something about music and music that praises Him that you just can't touch with regular words and sentences. i cant help but wonder how He smiles when He sees us singing out to Him.

oh! and on another note, it's warm today! the forsythia, and daffodils, and violets, and bradford pears, and cherries, and hyacinth, and all sorts of things are flowering! it's a tshirt and flipflops and hammock sort of day! :D

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