Saturday, August 9

emotional confusion

I love Blaye. Ive gotten to the point that I can pretty much understand everything thats going on. I want to speak more, and I get annoyed with myself sometimes when I dont, but then I just remind myself that Im not a person that really talks that much anyway (excluding when Im in comfortable situations with family/friends, and being in France does not count in this) I only have a week more in France. Ive had a wonderful time, with plenty of struggles and lessons learned. Sometimes, if I think about it, I just want to go home now, I want the week to go quickly so I can get back home where I belong. But also, I really dont want to go home, because that means that my trip is over and effectively, summer is over. Its annoying. Theres nothing I can do about it though, its not like I can go home right now even if I really wanted. SO, Im really trying to just focus on the present and whats happening today (and maybe tomorrow) and really enjoy it and try to make the most of it. The week will be up before I even know it, so why try to make it go faster? I hate being in weird emotional struggles like this. It always happens at the end of the summer anyway, the want to not go to school and stay in summer mode and be able to sleep as much as you want and such, but also the want to get to school and start the new year and see what it holds. If I dont think about it, Ill be fine, but Im really bad at not thinking about things. Well, I dont know what else to say other than I think its really funny how a 'new' episode of an American show here (thats been dubbed or whatever into French) is really like a year or two old. For example, the other night we were watching a NEW House (which is actually called Dr House here) that her family was all excited about (and so was I), when lo and behold, it was like 2 years old, before House's team of three doctors dicinigrated (sp!?). It was funny, but at least I already knew what was going to happen...

2 comments:

emily said...

HI AMY! I hear you on your struggle being in another country, wanting to come back where you belong...but if you did that, your trip will be over! That's hard, for sure. I would love to see photos from your trip if you have the chance when you come back. I hope you are able to enjoy the last week of your trip.

emily said...

I said "your trip" 746 times in that comment. Yikes!