growin up is weird.

its weird growing up. whats normal now is not what was normal then. i'll be on break, at home, for 2 weeks. then i'll be back at school. then i'm probably going somewhere, not home, for spring break. and if the summer project thing happens, i'll be home for 2 weeks then gone then home 2 weeks then back to school. its so weird that i'm going to be home so little. when i was at school i was worried i was gonna be home too long. now that i'm home i'm worried i'm not gonna be home enough. its just weird. and like core was a big part of my life in high school. now its like nonexistent (im not in high school anymore though anyways...). but the day that college kids come back and talk, i'll be in illinois having christmas with my family... like i dont feel like i belong at core anymore anyways... and now instead of going on trips and doing stuff with core, i'm going places and doing stuff with cru. and i like cru. i feel like i belong and i feel like i'm learning stuff and growing. i know all of this is just part of growing up and stuff. it's just so weird. and its weird to think that i'm already done with my first semester of college. i feel like it's been a lifetime since i was in high school. but it also feels like its gone so quick. like barely anytime has passed since i was in high school. its all just so weird. i dont know how else to describe it. its not that its bad. but its not like great or anything. its just weird. and theres nothing i can do about it anyways... so i guess the best i can do is just live each day. things are gonna change. things are gonna be weird. things are gonna be not what i expected. but hey. that's life.

this reminded me of the song Tick Tock by Chris Rice:

got our heels dug in

time is draggin us toward

the time when time wont matter anymore

they say life is but a vapor

just a blip on the radar screen

not the dates on your tombstone

but the dash in between

theres just a day

thats all we've got

tick tock the past is locked

the futures far away

can't go back

can't hurry it up

gotta learn to live today

tick tock its now o'clock

the little hand is ours

the second hand sweeps us around

the big hand has the power

well i'm livin or am i dyin

will the world get another day

i hear a baby cryin

and i pluck out another gray

i'm always talkin about a change

but talkings all i've done

i'm gonna start tomorrow

but tomorrow never comes

theres just a day

thats all we've got

tick tock the past is locked

the futures far away

can't go back

can't hurry it up

gotta learn to live today

tick tock its now o'clock

the little hand is ours

the second hand sweeps us around

the big hand has the power

always runnin late

don't procrastinate

even in a hurry life is rollin on

give me just a second

wait another minute

sleep another hour

see another day dawn

i'll call you next week

see ya in a month

celebrate a season

now another years gone

well there goes a decade

a century, millenium

and here comes eternity, eternity, eternity

here comes eternity, eternity

whats up with eternity

yea

tick tock the past is locked

the futures far away

can't go back

can't hurry it up

gotta learn to live today

tick tock its now o'clock

the little hand is ours

the second hand sweeps us around

the big hand has the power