Tuesday, March 30
so, i was asked to speak a bit at cru tonight. it was open mic night and they asked a couple people to share in addition to whoever came up, to make sure there were people to talk... usually getting up in front of people and talking would set me into a worry whirlwind. but it didn't. i got asked, and was like sure. thought about it last night a bit, making a couple notes. i was certain i was going to be super nervous and shake and just be awful. well, with my four little notes on my hand, i spoke. i was a bit nervous, but not really. before i went up i prayed for God to just settle my mind and body and just speak through me. i know i got red, but thats something i cant really help... my body just does it. my ears always seem to turn red when i get excited or nervous or whatever. but yea. i just talked a bit about what God has been doing in my life and just reitterating that it's not about us and it's all about Him. i could talk for hours about what God has been doing in my life, but i kept it brief. ;) it was just so surreal i guess, talking and not really worrying about what i would say next. the words just sorta flowed. glanced at my hand a couple times... and people in the audience were encouraging, smiling and nodding and such. :) and ya know what one of the best things was? i didnt regret anything after. you know how usually when you speak or have a conversation or something, you always think of what you should've said? well it didnt really happen. i know i said what God wanted me to say. i don't know that if you told me when i was here my first week of college that i would be involved with Cru and go on all these trips and get up and talk first in front of people who love me and i love back, i might not have believed you. and you know the great thing about me speaking? it wasn't me. it was Him.