Choose life. Plant many seeds for you never know what will blossom. Do not wait for things to be perfect. They never will be. There will always be something off/not completely right. Put yourself out there. Be bold. If you can't be bold among people, how could you boldly come to God? Depend on Him, that things will work out. You may be swimming in the darkness, but there is light and hope. Chosose life! Who cares if you look stupid. You are NEVER alone!
It is ok to have lots of people that you know and do things with. If you have a core of two or three people you know you can count on for the really important stuff... It's ok to do things with different people! It is OK to step out of your normal/routine and try something new or mix it up! We only have one life, so why waste it completely absorbed in routine and structure!? Yes, you need structure to some extent and people you know you can count on. But, really, live life! Mix it up and adventure and grow! Choose life! :)