valentine's day.

why not post about it, since it only comes once a year?

i have mixed feelings about the whole thing. about valentine's day. about relationships. all that jazz.

valentine's day means that someway or another i'm gonna get chocolate, which is always a plus.

however, it means that i will be surrounded by mushygushyness, which is a minus. it brings up a lot of things that i don't like to dwell on, like the fact that i still have never had a date or anything. that the only vibes i seem to get from guys is "thanks for helping me on that homework (or doing some other task for them)" or "oh hey (and nothing more)" not too great for a girl's self-esteem sometimes, esp when we're made with the desire to be romanced. and it appears (yes, i know there are plenty others in my position, but the brain has a good way of concentrating only on what it wants to) that i am the only one in this position. and the wondering if i'm too much or not enough. that i'm too smart, too mature, too tall for someone to like me. that i'm not pretty, not outgoing, not initiative enough either. so the devil speaks his lies in my ears, and for a time i believe them. believe that i will always be the single girl and will grow old alone with a dog.

but i'm fighting back. i'm fighting him with Him. fighting lies with Truth. it's not easy, but He never promised it would be. i am the bride, and He is the bridegroom. we're in this for the long haul. no matter what, Truth and the true hope remain. that i am beautiful in His eyes and He would do anything (and did!) to save me and bring me to Him and keep me there. this is a love that does not face rejection, unless it is on my part. it won't fade, it won't lose hope, and it won't be judging. this is True Love, not just here's a card and chocolate love.

your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight -1 peter 3:3-4

this is Life. the Glory and Love of my God, my groom, my Savior. i am His Beloved and He rejoices over me with singing. nothing, nothing can match this.

behold You have come over the hills upon the mountain. to me You will run. My Beloved, You've captured my heart. won't You dance with me, oh Lover of my soul, to the song of all songs? with You, i will go. You are my Love. You are my Fair One. the winter has passed and springtime has come. won't You dance with me, oh Lover of my soul, to the song of all songs? romance me, oh Lover of my soul, to the song of all songs. -dance with me by jesus culture