Tuesday, August 19

recap 2


The beautiful beach in Moliets at sunset :)

A popular local game, these dudes takes turns hitting a ball against a wall with their bare hands.

Mailou

Some 'folk music', pretty boring in fact... :)

Same idea as the other game, just using chutes on their hands to catch and throw the ball.


The Moliets beach


Beach parking, they're nice and dont cut down the trees to make a parking lot :)

The vacation house



A lemon diabolo. Its this slightly fizzy lemonade type stuff made from a syrup. Tasty, just surprisingly bright in color.

The shops at the beach

So, the first whole week we spent in Moliets at her stepdad's vacation home. Most of the time we just chilled or went to the beach. They worried about me because 'I didnt talk much', because I didn't know them, I didnt really understand what was going on, and I missed home and just felt out of place and generally almost unwelcomed by her mom. When I travel, even if just in the US, most of the time, my body does stupid things. For the most part of the first week my throat was really unhappy. It wouldnt really let me eat much, its something it just does sometimes. It does it sometimes at home too, but usually only for like half a day or so, not multiple days. The stress from her mom to eat probably didnt help the situation either. I had a hard time adapting at first (again, not helped by her mom) and really missed my mom and house and just my normal life and food. I also couldnt really sleep well for the first few nights too. Her mom kept confronting me and telling me that I needed to 'grow up' and stop crying and missing my home. Its really hard for me to not cry when I feel like crying, all my life I've been raised that when you need to cry, you do. It helps get out the emotions, stops them from building up, and helps you clear your mind so you can move on or fix the situation. She told me that crying was not acceptable. It makes it even harder to not cry when its someone forcing you not to, not yourself telling yourself your not going to. I dont know if that makes sense to you... :) Her strict tones with me were not welcoming and made me just feel like crap. When I feel intimidated or whatever, that just makes me want to cry even more. Its just the way I am. On Thursday she told me that we needed to make a deal (although I never was in the process of the deciding what the deal was), that if I didnt 'act better' by Sunday, she would send me home. She legally couldnt have sent me home, she couldnt have put me on a plane without my parents consent, but it was scary. She kept telling me that I 'wasnt eating' and that I was sad all the time and not enjoying myself. I WAS eating, just not ALOT. They eat alot in France, I normally dont eat all that much anyway, I have a small stomach, and when Im in transit or something I tend to eat less. I was eating, just I was eating one scoop of everything, instead of two or three scoops, like everyone else was having. Keep in mind too that this is different food from what Im used to too. I really was enjoying myself, but Im the kind of person that, when enjoying themselves or having fun, instead of smiling and talking alot, I often just contemplate and stuff in my head, smiling inside. She had it all wrong, as far as I was concerned. Whenever I told her that I was eating and enjoying myself, she would just get defensive and be more evily. I REALLY did not want to go home or quit. At that point, I just couldnt wait til the last week with her dad, without her mom. My body was just fighting against me, as it does so good, and there was nothing I could do about it but try to stay positive and put on a good face for her mom. Her mom only seemed to focus on the 'negative' things, like my 'not eating' and stuff. When I would just sit and read, she would later get mad at me; Mailys had said that we had nothing to do and to just do whatever I want, which to her mom could not include reading, watching TV or taking a nap. I had no clue what I was supposed to be doing. It was really hard, stressful, tense. At times, she would give me a choice, saying it didnt matter whether I came with them for a night on the town (to be out until after midnight) or not, but when I choose, she would later get mad at me. I cant help it if I would rather sleep than sit in a bar with people I dont know talking to each other and me just sitting there not being able to talk or being talked to. On Saturday, she got mad at me at lunch for 'not eating again' and I ended up calling my mom, because I hadnt in a few days. I told her all about how her mom was being evil and getting angry at me and threating to send me home and stuff, and cryed. Her mom eventually came into my room and demanded to talk to my mom. They talked a bit, and my mom pretty much just told her to stop worrying about me and that my body just is weird and that I wont die if I dont eat a whole lot for a few days and that I know my body and what it does/needs and that I would just take care of myself and I would let them know if I actually needed something or felt actually sick. It was really tense. She even called the Rotary dude and talked bad about me and got the OK to send me home. It was SO scary, I could just feel my whole trip going down the drain and it being a big waste. Her mom was just so mean and intimidating and demoralizing me and just making me feel like crap and telling me Im such a bad girl and stuff. BUT, it was Ok, after it was over she stopped, for the most part, bothering me and I felt alot less stressed, although still really welcomed, and was able to start feeling and eating better. Her mom never really gave me a chance to try, and expected me to be exactly like them. I tryed to do and act like them, but Im different, and I never will be the same, I was raised differently and everything. She expected me to instantly be able to talk fluent French and understand everything. She didnt really speak slower for me, like Mailou would, and got annoyed when I didnt instantly understand things. She knew some english, so if I didnt instantly understand what she said in french, she would switch to english. I didnt get a chance. I told her to just speak french, no english, but she told me that I couldnt understand, so she wouldnt. It was rather annoying. As my mom pointed out later, when she or I would talk to her mother in english we would talk slower, in simpler english, like when we talked to Mailys, but when she talked to me in french, she just spoke normally. If my mom or I spoke any faster or used one big word, she would yell 'stop! your too fast'. I dont mean to be mean, but she seemed like quite a hypocrat. All this just helped me see that not everyone is as put together as my family and those I know and that there are very different people in this world. Also that I REALLY like my life and family and stuff and it helps me be very thankful for what I have and my life and stuff. I hope I never take for granted my life. It also helped me see that God really is lost to some people. I could see all the hurt and emptiness in her and I just really wanted to pick God up and stick Him in the hole. Unfortunately, its not that easy... It makes me SOOOO glad and thankful that I DO have God to lean on and help me and stuff. Although her mom and stuff is not exactly an aspect of this trip I really want to remember vividly, I will remember the lessons and stuff it has taught me.

1 comment:

maman said...

{{{{{}}}}}