Wednesday, October 15

time

it's so precious.
i feel like i don't have any left.
so here's my schedule: Monday:Piano, Tuesday:? might become swimming at the Y, Wednesday:Small Group, Thursday:Either NAHS or Core team, Friday:CROSS club, Saturday:Swimming and homework, Sunday:Nursery and Core. I feel like everythings so full. I have something everyday. Even though during the week with school they never last any longer than til 5, it still feels like I don't have a life anymore. And all this extra committed time is forcing me to, more often than not, go to bed at 10 or later. My body is not enjoying this. I'm a very sleep-needy person. I know that this is just how life is, but I really enjoyed the laybackness of summer. I don't want things to change. I can't quit piano, I can't quit Core, I can't quit small group, I have to have some exercise, so I can't quit swimming. And with NAHS, I'm the secretary, so can't really quit that. And I feel like if I stop going to Nursery or Core team, I'd be shunned or whatever. And now my mom wants me to go swimming twice a week, not just once. I thought junior year was supposed to be the hardest, not senior year.
Soon though, I'll hear from Lenoir-Rhyne, which will be good.
I just don't know how to work my time so that I get everything done, and still have some chill time left and not feel pressured. It's not like I don't enjoy anything I'm doing...
And school... it just feels more like a waste of time than anything. I'm not really learning all that much, at least don't feel like it. And half the time, I just sit there and think, man I could be doing something much more productive.
I don't know. It's bothering me.
If only there was more time... :/

1 comment:

Karla said...

Time does go by quickly, and you're smart to look at how yours is being spent. At least the stuff you're doing is stuff you enjoy... School will be over soon enough. Before you know it, probably. Remember, the swimming thing is not a have-to. Just looking out for your health. :-)