Thursday, March 11


so often we think about something in the future that is to some extent set in stone. like pcb, the people that are going is set. registration is closed. but i've been thinking about it, and wishing more people were going or a specific person was going. almost wishing to the point that i'm wary of going because things are not exactly how i want or think they should be. i think that if a specific person was going or something, the trip would multiply in goodness. but i just realized something. i know it may not seem like a revelation on a grand scale. but. GOD IS IN CONTROL. HE ALREADY KNOWS AND PLANNED THINGS PERFECTLY. He already knows to some extent what is going to happen next week in pcb. He put specific people there to fulfill His purpose. so why am i worrying and thinking hard? this is the way its supposed to be. things might not happen on my timetable or the way i would predict or prescribe, but they happen according to his perfectly sculpted plan!

what are our motivations for living for Christ? ah! i dont know! that is scary! everything i can think of, it all comes back to me being selfish and wanting things to be better for me. so that i get into heaven. so that things run smoothly. so that things work out in the end and He gives me help when i need it. the speaker asked this last night at cru, and it's got me stumped. erin and i talked about it. didn't really answer the question, but did talk about yearning for Him. good, tough stuff. (yay for scuba diving ;)

it seems really awkward to close a parentheses after a smily face ( :) ) its just weird. so i leave it off and hope no one notices ;)

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