appreciated.

there are so many people in my life that i appreciate and love deeply. and they will never know or understand how much i really truly love them and how much of an impact they've had in my life. we all relate differently and can never fully understand another. there will never ever be another person just like you. that's amazing. that there are so many of us, some 6 billion, and none of us are exactly the same. even if you think you understand someone, you will never be able to get in their brains and have the exact same thoughts and experiences. you will never know how important you are to them. and theres really no good way to show all these people who have been a part of my life how important they are to me and how they've changed my life. i can write cards, sew flowers, verbally try to express it... but none of it will ever really come close. and part of me pains that they won't ever understand or see how beautiful and wonderful and important they are. i want them so desparately to understand and see. to believe. to take hold of. this pain it causes me makes me wonder what pain God goes through. we will never understand how much He loves us and how important we are to Him. He tries to show His appreciation and love in so many ways, and we often disregard it. even if we pay attention, we'll never fully understand. it's our condition. especially since we're separated from Him. it makes me wonder how much God tries to show His love and we don't even see it. how blind we are. just how the people i love will never fully grasp how much i appreciate them, we will never fully grasp how much God loves us. but we can try.

when we get to heaven we'll understand and see everything, His love for us, His love for us manifested through the love and appreciation of others. i can't wait for that day to just stand there and be amazed.