Saturday, June 19


so sorry i haven't written in a few days. the internet here has been very touch and go. i'll finally get internet and then it'll go out right after i look at my email. making me realize how much we depend on the internet... theres not much you can really do anymore without it on a computer...
anyways. thursday we had the meeting at 8 which consisted of a fire drill, and a pep rally for the summer at bubba gump's. apparantely we're the most successful bubba gumps in the system, which is pretty cool. after that, those of us not working until later or the next day went to the village. yay for donuts from the donut friar and sitting and chilling and talking. a guy from our work came and chatted for a while too, never really got spiritual but we got to know him better. none of us will ever work with him because he always works the night shift, but he told us he'd show us the good swimming holes and such that all the tourists don't know about. :) after that i came back and took a nap, went swimming, then baked cakes with leah, molly and smitty for orrie's one year spiritual birthday, then dinner and reflection night. reflection night was good. i went to greenbrier to the river. it was pretty high/fast compared to what it was when we were there for the picnic. brittany and molly saw a bear, and i kinda sorta saw it, but thought it was an innertube... so i've yet to see a legit bear and know thats what i was seeing...
yesterday i didn't have work again and was kinda worried about what i'd do because i was the only student not working. i slept in a bit (yay!) then went lap swimming at the community center. then rachel and i had dship and went to cracker barrel and checked out some of the arts and crafts shops in gatlinburg. then nap, chilling, then a cookout at barry and susan's mountain house. it was gorgeous. i want to live in a mountain house now. people were planning to go see toy story 3, but people got busy and everything at the cookout and it didn't end up happening, which i'm ok with because the timing was gonna be tight... then back here and bed.
today i'm off to work again alone. kinda weird but nice being the only one there. it can get boring when we're not busy though...
i've been doing pretty well lately, for the most part. physically, my body is not it's happiest. i've just really felt in a fog almost and rather tired. my knee last night was not too happy either. i don't know if this icky weirdness is from hormones, stress, a poss flare of whatevers wrong with me, or what.
kinda struggling again spiritually... instead of mentally and spiritually like last week, now it's just spiritually. it's all really complicated and i'm not sure even i know what's up. i'm getting fed up with myself over it though, and thats rarely a good thing. theres a lot of stuff based on feelings going on, and i know that's wrong but i can't figure out what's going on or where i am without them. lots of questions going through my head. i just would like some balance at this point. i'm finding i really lack that, esp in relationships. i'm either clingy and tell everything or am distant and say nothing. no in between. no good. :p
well, i'm off to work... my hair's getting a bit annoyingly long again, might have to find someone to trim it... :)

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