Thursday, August 26

it's gonna be a great year.

i can already tell. it's gonna be a great year. yes. crap is gonna happen. it always will. as my friend abby has said before, Jesus isn't a good luck charm, crap is gonna happen. no matter how much you plan, how devoted to God and His purpose you are, things are gonna happen you don't like, you don't expect, and that seem totally contrary to how life should go. even so, i'm determined to enjoy life and all the things that go right. even while my body is doing crazy things and the side effects from this new med apparently don't go away. and i'm gonna be busy. choir plus cru plus a nice full load of courses plus being social equals a busy amy. but hopefully a happy amy :) though happiness isnt the point of life. i'd rather have joy. which is what i really meant. at this moment, even with all the crap that is happening with my body, all the work i'll have for classes and then other stuff for choir and cru, and all the bad possibilities in the future, i have joy. God has great things for my life. i know it. everything will work out.
this summer, the confidence and everything i've learned, and coming back as a sophomore and knowing my way around and having friends. all adds together to just feeling so much better about life and school. i don't feel so desparate to always have a plan and set people to hang with and things to do. yes, i don't know any of the freshman yet, but even so i feel like almost anywhere i go i at least recognize someone and most of the time know them enough to talk to them. it's just amazing the way everything works out even when you don't think it will and don't have a plan. and i feel like i know myself and am secure enough to do stuff on my own if need be. i'd rather not eat alone, but if need be, i'm ok with it. and i'm fine with chilling alone, relaxing, going to do something i want to do even if i don't know anyone else going. some of this is just the familiarity with my surroundings and knowing people, but i feel like a huge part of this is this summer. just better learning about who i am in God. being myself and knowing that i am a beautiful creation of God the way i am, and not caring so much about what others think or whatever. my role is not to be a people pleaser. it's so liberating. it's hard to not have joy when you know the One who truely matters loves and adores you. that you are perfect in His sight. that He knows you're gonna screw up, but loves you anyways and wants to help fix you and make you better. it's gonna be a great year here in room 313. (plus it's really nice to have roommates i can talk to and spend time with!) :)

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