lately, i've been reading one thousand gifts by ann voskamp. so good. it's really inspiring me to look at EVERY situation with thanks.. that thanks turns into faith and trust. that if we can't find a way to thank God for whatever it is we're in, how can we really believe that where He's put us is best? and that all those thanks are really just reflections of the beauty and love of God. it's so easy to get wrapped up in all the junk and stress and things that can and do go wrong... but we must stop and really look, think, see His love. to breathe in and out thanks, and share that with others. to let yourself rely on other people and God to get you through, realize my little humanity and that i can't do it alone and that others really do care.
like this past weekend, the whole getting lost thing... i could look back at it and just be angry that i got lost and was arrogant and tried to do it myself. or i can look back and see how He brought me through, the little graces of having enough gas to get back to a station, that the rain didn't start until i had gas and directions, that i had people i could call/who called me to help me through, that my mom loves me enough to freak out too, that i finally got to cry and get out all this builtup stuff from the last 6 months or more.. it's all about perspective. finding the joy in the fear.
(oh, and i did make it to the campground, and finish the triathlon the next morning, getting 2nd place (out of 2, but i got a medal!) in my age group and being second from last overall (i dont care, i'm just glad i did it!), and see my closest camp friend :)