i'm a slacker.

i've been a definite blog slacker lately. i've thought about posting, i really have, but usually that thought comes up when i'm crawling into bed and i know that if i open my computer back up i will end up on facebook and looking at other things and won't get to bed for another hour. i know myself too well. so here i am, on duty, with nothing to do and still 45 min before i can go to bed. so i'm posting!

life has been pretty rockin lately. school and the work associated with it has picked up, but nothing too crazy. it's all managable and my four classroom classes seem to overlap all the time so it makes it easier to study cause half the stuff i've heard before... so classes, the reason i'm here, are going well. cru and all the stuff with that is going great too, i feel like i'm really comfortable in my role in the organization and with that ministry. i'm starting to disciple some girls through that too which is definitely interesting, growing for me for sure and hopefully them as well!

the thing i've been struggling with lately is trusting the Lord in everything. it's kind of a constant thing for me, especially with my oh so powerful selfwill and want for control and a set plan. since i'm a junior now, my future after college comes up more and more. it's exciting, nervewracking and annoying all at the same time. i'm still fairly sure that PA is what i want to do, but there's so much that goes into going to PA school after i graduate... making sure i have the class and experience requirements, taking the gre, getting internships for experience, deciding what schools to apply to, applying to them and the whole process of doing that and hopefully interviews... so much! and once i start thinking about it all, i can't stop. and i start to freak out about interviews when i haven't even taken the gre yet! or worrying about how I am gonna find internships. and then this past week, i got a decent sounding lead from me doing nothing and my mom going to yoga... it was kinda like God was saying 'hey, i can make things happen without you even doing stuff'. def something i need to remember more. and then once i got the lead i freaked out about getting my resume and cover letter just so the next day that i skipped my quiet time... no good. for some reason my brain seems to be all or nothing with thinking about all this... it either goes crazy and i can't focus on anything else, or i completely forget about it. im hoping to get the internship stuff figured out relatively soon so i can just forget about it and not worry until it gets to be almost summer.. but who knows. maybe God's gonna draw this out and make me wait forever to make me lean on Him, He's been known to do things like that before ;)

so that's where i'm at... loving life, but could always use more Jesus and letting the Holy Spirit work in and through me... it's a journey.